{"id":763,"date":"2023-07-18T13:46:25","date_gmt":"2023-07-18T13:46:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themindcode.nl\/?p=763"},"modified":"2023-07-21T12:05:53","modified_gmt":"2023-07-21T12:05:53","slug":"my-biracial-experience-the-struggle-to-fit-into-both-worlds","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themindcode.nl\/nl\/my-biracial-experience-the-struggle-to-fit-into-both-worlds\/","title":{"rendered":"Mijn Ervaring met een Dubbele Nationaliteit: De Strijd om in Twee Werelden te Passen"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"viewer-foo\"><strong>Waar kom je vandaan?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-3krgj\">Het is een vraag die mij lang en vaak heeft ge\u00efntrigeerd. Bedoel je waar ik ben opgegroeid? Waar ik nu woon? Of wat mijn afkomst is? Het is een vraag die kan dienen om duidelijk te krijgen in welk hokje je te plaatsen bent. En het is een hele normale vraag, want mensen zijn altijd op zoek naar redenen om zich met je te verbinden. Deze vragen helpen erbij om te ontdekken wat je wel of niet met elkaar gemeen hebt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\" id=\"viewer-b97g7\">Vroeger als ik in een grappige bui was dan antwoordde ik met: thuis. Ik wilde niet altijd in een hokje geplaatst worden. Ik connect liever met mensen zonder dat we bewust zijn van de labels die we dragen. Het moment dat je dat doet kan je elkaar accepteren of afwijzen, gebaseerd op een zeer oppervlakkige kant van onze identiteit. Zijn we niet veel meer dan de plek waar we zelf of onze ouders geboren \nzijn? Wil je niet veel liever gezien worden voor de kwaliteiten die je in jezelf hebt opgebouwd? Tuurlijk leren we veel van onze ouders, familie en het eventuele land van herkomst. We nemen de dingen en gebruiken mee waarbij we voelen dat ze bij ons passen en dat maakt een diverse samenleving naar mijn idee zo mooi. Je leert dat er meer dan 1 manier mogelijk is om naar het leven te kijken. Maar wie ben jij zonder al deze labels? Wat is kenmerkend aan de meest rauwe versie van jou? Wat is het aan jou waarvan je wil dat het anderen opvalt? Wat onderscheidt jou? Op welk niveau wil je connecten met mensen?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ik ben Nederlands en Tunesisch. Ik ben trots op mijn roots en heb geleerd om de schoonheid in beide culturen mee te nemen en mij eigen maken. Ik ben geboren en opgegroeid in Nederland. En ik heb een tijdje gewoond in Tunesi\u00eb. Waar ik het leven op het platteland heb meegemaakt, en in de hoofdstad heb gestudeerd met al haar chaos en schoonheid. Al deze levenservaringen hebben een stempel gedrukt op mijn identiteit. Maar ik heb ook lang geworsteld met de vraag 'waar kom je vandaan?'. 'Ben je meer Nederlands of Tunesisch?' Of 'ik vind jou meer Nederlands, of juist meer Tunesisch'. Eerlijk gezegd wist ik het antwoord op die vraag heel erg lang niet. En als mensen dat ongevraagd voor mij invulden was dat verwarrend. Ik dacht dan, hoe kunnen ze dat nou zien als ik zelf het antwoord op die vraag niet weet? Ik was constant bezig met zoeken naar waar mijn identiteit lag. Bij welke community voelde ik mij meer op mijn gemak. Het enige waarvan ik mij wel altijd pijnlijk bewust was als kind, is dat ik anders was dan de kinderen in mijn klas. Anders dan de Nederlandse kinderen. En anders dan de kinderen met buitenlandse afkomst. Geen van beide 'groepen' zagen mij als een van hun. En zo was het ook overal waar ik kwam in Nederland. Ik hoorde er niet bij. En als ik in Tunesi\u00eb was, dan was ik een Nederlander voor de locals en voor mijn familie. Ik was dan ook altijd op zoek naar een plek waar ik 'mensen zoals ik' zou kunnen vinden en ik me eindelijk 'normaal' zou kunnen voelen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And then I would be asked: \u2018Are you more Dutch or Tunisian?\u2019 Even in that question, I could hear a slight preference, just in the tone of their voice. A small wish for what my answer would be. And that question could have come from a family member, a fellow student, or just a random stranger. Whoever asked me this question, I always felt torn and stressed. And that\u2019s because I didn\u2019t know what to say. But that felt stupid. Cause if I didn\u2019t even know who or what I was, then who would? I assumed that the people who asked me this question, would at least be able to answer the same for themselves. Which in hindsight is very unlikely, but at that time I just thought that I was the only person who was so clueless about their identity. It made me feel lost and inadequate, for not knowing this part of myself. So I would say that I can\u2019t be split in 2 and that I\u2019m an absolute mix of both worlds. But then that was never really a satisfying answer, cause that still would make me hard to categorize. Sometimes people would feel compelled to answer the question for me: \u2018I think you are more Dutch\u2019 or \u2018I think you\u2019re more Tunisian\u2019. To be honest, I didn\u2019t know the answer to that question at all. I just knew that I was a girl like any other trying to grow up and find her way in life. And when people made assumptions about the answer, I always felt very confused. I thought, how can they see that if I don\u2019t know the answer to that question myself? I was constantly searching for places to find bits and pieces of my identity, since it seemed to be such a recurring theme in my life. Which community did I feel more comfortable with? What kind of people did physically look like me? It was daunting, and even gave me anxiety and depression. My focus was on the outer world, rather than myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-e08ba\">En het antwoord op de vraag: ben je meer Nederlands of Tunesisch? Is dat deze vraag mij niet langer bezig houdt. Ik ging op zoek naar deze antwoorden vanuit een gevoel van schaarste, om een leegte op te vullen waarvan ik niet wist wat daarvoor nodig was. Om meer aansluiting en eigenwaarde te vinden op basis van afkomst.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201d <em>Thuis is geen fysieke bestemming. Het is een plek binnenin jezelf waar je vrede hebt met alles wat je bent: het goede en het minder goede, zonder enige vorm van oordeel.<\/em> \u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\" id=\"viewer-5bn6v\">Terwijl ik dit schrijf denk ik van hoe moeilijk ik heb gedaan en hoeveel betekenis ik in mijn jeugd heb gegeven aan het feit dat ik anders was dan anderen. En daarmee geef je je kracht weg aan anderen. Maar dat is een betekenis die ik zelf aan mijn identiteit heb gegeven. Ergens in mijn jeugd heb ik op onderbewust niveau een overtuiging opgedaan van dat ik anders was. En dat patroon is lang actief gebleven. En dat voelen mensen aan en behandelen ze je als anders. Dit inzicht heeft zoveel voor mij veranderd en mijn leven getransformeerd. Ik heb ingezien op onderbewust niveau dat deze overtuigingen mij in de weg stonden om blij te zijn met wie ik was, en daarbij zag ik over het hoofd hoeveel meer kennis ik had van het leven doordat ik meerdere culturen kende. Het lijkt heel clich\u00e9, dit zijn dingen die ik met mijn bewuste verstand allang begreep. Maar onderbewust zat er veel vast waardoor ik bleef haken en terugviel in oude patronen. Iets begrijpen met je verstand is anders dan een gevoel van bewustwording op alle niveaus. En dat is waar de verandering begint. \n\nEn dit is mijn verhaal over identiteit. Jij kan een hele andere beleving hiervan hebben. Er zijn mensen die zich niet thuis voelen in hun land, in de gemeenschap, in hun familie, of zelfs in hun lichaam. Wat is het wat jij nodig hebt om je thuis te kunnen voelen in jezelf?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"viewer-9td88\">Herken jij jezelf hierin? Kan je hulp gebruiken in meer duidelijkheid krijgen over wat identiteit voor jou inhoudt? Ik kan je helpen om meer zelfvertrouwen te krijgen in wie je bent. Wat jou mooi en uniek maakt als persoon. Ik heb vrijheid gevonden met deze transformatie en dat gun ik jou ook \u2665\ufe0f<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Where are you from? It is a question that has haunted me for as long as I can remember. Are you asking me where I live? Or what my country of residence is? Or are you asking about my roots? It is a question that can help us categorize people. And it\u2019s a perfectly normal [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":764,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-763","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"blocksy_meta":{"styles_descriptor":{"styles":{"desktop":"","tablet":"","mobile":""},"google_fonts":[],"version":7}},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>My Biracial Experience: The Struggle to Fit into Both Worlds - The Mind Code<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/themindcode.nl\/nl\/my-biracial-experience-the-struggle-to-fit-into-both-worlds\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"nl_NL\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"My Biracial Experience: The Struggle to Fit into Both Worlds - The Mind Code\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Where are you from? It is a question that has haunted me for as long as I can remember. Are you asking me where I live? Or what my country of residence is? Or are you asking about my roots? It is a question that can help us categorize people. 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